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Vogon Poetry Slam May 25th

If you are in Tallahassee, please come and enter the International Vogon Poetry Slam. It is a contest for the worst possible poem. It happens at 8pm on May 25th as part of our Towel Day celebrations. If you are coming in person DO NOT ENTER ON-LINE. You will get to read your own poem live in front of your victims. The rules are the same.

There is a separate division for those outside of Tallahassee. The divisions will be "I am standing in Lofty Pursuits","I cant come to Tallahassee so I'm entering on-line", in addition we may have a subcategory for haikus if there are enough entries.

We are going to shoot the slam, reading the poems of the on-line entries and posting them as a video on Youtube.
The Vogon Poetry contest.
Rules: The worst original poem will win as judged by us. No appeal is possible.

Sent to to be considered for this contest. We must get the poems by midnight on the 24th, Eastern Daylight Time (GMT-5). Late entries will go to the spam folder.

Contestants will be judged on the 25th at the Slam. They will be judged by the staff of Lofty Pursuits and anyone who is standing around and willing to judge. There tends to be a very small willing judging pool. If you come to Lofty Pursuits that night and plan to try to swing the judging by becoming a judge; bring beer.

We hold the right to narrow the contestants before the slam. I admit to being unclear on if the number of contents will be narrowed, or if each of the contestants themselves will be narrowed. It stands to be an interesting night.

All winners give us the right to do whatever we want with their poems.

Haiku's may be judged in a sub category.

We plan to post the winners videos on YouTube on the Lofty Pursuits Channel. Depending on the amount of beer that it will take to judge this contest, that may take a few days. Be patient

We will e-mail the winner and let them know if they won to get their shipping address. We will send candy as prizes and possibly other things. We really don't know. No idea how much candy we will send. I think it depends on where you live. If you are overseas, we may be cheap and send the lightest package possible.

Short poems have a better chance of making the cut to be read and judged.

Longer poems have a better chance of burning longer to start that evenings bonfire.

Paul Neil Milne Johnstone is no longer allowed to enter poems.

All poems must meet 1986 minivan safety standards. Do not taunt poems.

There is no judging criteria, but this is in a kid friendly shop. Non-kid friendly poems will not be considered.

If you live in the Tallahassee area, this on-line contest is not for you. Show up at 8pm on the 25th and you will have a separate category with cooler prizes.

Bongos provided.

Gift Cards


We can bring the fun to you for your next indoor or outdoor event.


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